Do any of these describe your feelings right now?
How you are feeling is going to depend upon the circumstances about what you've discovered. Key to this will be how you found out, who is involved, and the history of the relationship you have with the person who has betrayed you. Perhaps you feel sadness about the loss of a partner who's always supported you, someone you never believed would let you down? Perhaps you feel anger about the actions of the person who you put your trust in above all others?
Maybe this isn't the first time you've been betrayed or maybe this is the final straw after one too many chances. You are also likely to be feeling some anxiety or dread about what the future will hold and how you will cope in the coming days and months. With all these conflicting emotions bombarding you at once you may also feel numb as the chances are your overriding feelings will be of confusion, shock or disbelief.
A common question is - why has this happened? How could he or she do this to me? Did they think they could get away with it? What does this mean about the future of our relationship? How will I cope now that I’ve found out? What will other people think? It's likely your mind is racing as thoughts and images crowd on top of one another and it’s probable that few are making any sense right now. Your ability to concentrate and make logical decisions may also fly out the window leaving you unable to think things through or to know what to do first.
Your beliefs about yourself and others and the way you understand the world have changed. Assumptions have been shattered whilst thoughts you held with certainty and conviction no longer apply.
So what will you do? Who can you rely on? What's going to help you get through? Hold on to the thought that now is a time to be kind to yourself and to try to put yourself first. You're going to need time and space to process what’s happened, to begin to make sense of your feelings and answer all those questions. Try to take things one step at a time. Now is not the time to make hasty decisions or to take action. Whatever you're feeling, however difficult and overwhelming, remind yourself that this is a normal reaction and to be expected given the circumstances.
One thing that might help is to remind yourself you're not alone. Help and support is available to you from friends, family and others who care about you. At Women Scorned you can find inspiration and support from other women who understand what you're going through because they've gone through it, and are going through it, themselves. You can find ideas about managing difficult feelings, making decisions and ways to cope. Women will share with you what helped, what didn't help, and what they wish someone had told them when they found out they had been betrayed. So for now, all you need to do is read on...and to breathe.