What kind of divorce do you want?
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"You have to be flexible in divorce and show many skills - and I haven't even gone into the leopard, the jackal or the skunk! But it's as well in the beginning of the divorce process to map out your strategy to think about the kind of divorce you want and to gather together the skills and resources to have a successful divorce"
There are many different ways of divorcing, all of them equally good or horrible depending on your point of view! Here I will discuss a few divorce styles, some slightly tongue-in-cheek, some slightly more serious and see which category you fit into!
 
1) The Shark - This is where you decide "I am going to go for every penny I can get ". If you read a lot of divorce forums you will see that this is what a lot of divorcing men think of their ex-partners. They are peeved their money is being taken by an ex-wife who they feel no longer deserves it. In practice I have found few women have this attitude to go out for every penny they can, though at some point in the divorce process you will think like that, even if just for a moment.
 
Pro's- you can go into your divorce with a lot of energy to get what you want and you know you will squeeze every penny out of the divorce settlement.
Cons - it will turn into a battle and you may lose sight of other important objectives in divorce such as maintaining some sort of relationship with your ex.
 
2) The Dormouse - If you are a dormouse you may be mistaken for a door mat. You will be meek, minimising your own wants and needs and be embarrassed or shy about asking for the necessary financial support.
Pro's - You won't have to stand up for yourself and a divorce agreement will come easily because you're not asking for anything.
Cons - you may find that your own lawyer is spending a lot of time trying to protect your interests and you may lose out financially because you are not claiming what you are entitled to.
 
3) The Mole - If you are in mole mode you will have a tendency to hide away underground, or at least under the duvet, when asked to make a difficult decision. You would rather be in your burrow than facing the world.
Pro's - you will protect yourself from some of the unpleasantness of divorce.
Cons - because you avoid decision-making you will leave all that legal and financial paperwork in a drawer until the last minute. Decisions will eventually get made but will not be the best ones you could have made.
 
4) The Elephant - If you are the elephant you prize family values, you want to stay with your herd and above all look after your children. Family togetherness will be important for you and significant in your divorce negotiations even if you are dealing with a rogue male!
Pro's - you will probably keep your family alongside you and your children will thrive well through divorce.
Cons - You may lose sight of yourself and your specific needs through the divorce process.
 
 
 
 

 

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